Sex, Money, or Nothing At All
According to a True.com survey on love and money, the results of 2,286 singles show that men and women are different. I’ll admit that’s not exactly news. Instead of news, let’s feature my opinions about this poll.
The most interesting survey result I read was what men and women thought a couple should talk about. Both genders agreed that the second-best conversation was…Nothing. That’s right, coming in at 22% for men and 29% for women, talking about nothing at all made a lot of sense.
What about number one? This might shock some of you, but 29% of men seemed to think that sex was the ideal topic to talk about. Add in the 22% that would have been happy talking about nothing, and I think you get a clear picture of men. If we can’t talk about sex, we don’t see much reason to talk.
Women, on the other hand, put sex at number four on their list with 15% thinking it was the ideal couple conversation. Money, at 33%, came in first among women. Yes, women wanted to talk about money more than men wanted to talk about sex. In case anyone cares, topic number three for the money-hungry gender was marriage at 16%.
The press release didn’t mention what came in fourth place among men, but my guess is it wasn’t marriage. Sports, cars, beef, and blowing things up seem more likely subjects to me.
What can we learn from this survey? It shows just how hard it is for me to talk about money every week when I’d rather talk about sex. Alternately, it may show how in touch I am with my feminine side. Whichever, it does show that women think money is important.
Why then do I get complaints from many a male client that their wives and sweethearts don’t want to talk about investing? First, unless your wife or sweetheart is looking for a date through an internet service, she wasn’t part of the survey. Second, there’s a whole lot more about money than investments.
Men, do you want to be the Tom Jones, Robert Redford, or Matt Damon in your honey’s life? Then whisper money into her ear. Don’t know where to start? Saving for a future goal, planning for a monetarily stress-free retirement, making sure the kids’ college can be taken care of, setting up a special shoe budget, and making sure your insurance policies are adequate and up-to-date are some money-topic ideas for your next date.
Women, are your men too shy? Remember, though it is number three on their list of favorites, they do want to talk about money. It might take some coaxing, but you can bring him out of his shell.
Here’s an idea: when you’re together, have one of those Cosmo magazines with some suggestive title on the front like, “Here’s How To Stay Sexy.” Turn to him and say, “Honey, I was reading about something you might be interested in.” Now that you have his rapt attention, you pull out a copy of Money magazine and turn to the article, “The Ultimate Inflation Survival Guide.”
If he seems at a loss for words, realize that he’s just shifting from Sex, through Nothing, and should be ready to talk about Money real soon.
Gary Silverman, CFP® is the owner of Personal Money Planning, a financial planning and investment management firm located in Wichita Falls. You may e-mail him at Gary@PersonalMoneyPlanning.com. This article was published Sunday, July 27 in the Your Money column for the Times Record News.